Friday, August 25, 2006



yeah, i know...everyone is writing about the celestial body formerly known as pluto losing its planetary status.

imagine a bunch of astronomers hanging out in a dingy cafe (what else do they have to do, really?) knocking back a few budvars and talking about their recent "symposium" in orlando...

"that dog might have been big in the old days but that doesn't give him the right to piss on my leg like that. calls himself a star. he ain't no star!"

"i hear ya, brother! he ain't no star!"


interestingly "star", in drunken czech, sounds a lot like "planet" in drunken czech.'s widely known that "journalists" like to lurk around dingy bars looking for a "story" that will get them out of the mail room.

let's imagine one overheard this conversation.

as i've mentioned before i have been in contact with extra-terrestrial races by virtue of blasting my blog into outerspace through blogs-in-space.

i have it on good authority that the "plutonians" don't give a rats ass about this.

god of the dead

this guy is another deal altogether.

Friday, August 18, 2006

the pinnacle

it's been quite a while since i've had the opportunity to dive the north side of the island just for fun.

this picture was taken on a site called the pinnacle in a little place called turtle harbour.
(thanks katarina)

we were just coming up over the top of the reef to start our safety stop when this guy showed up out of the hard pan to check us out and keep us company for a while.

he hung around for several minutes while swimming between and around our small group of divers before going over the wall on his way to do turtle things.

kept us well past our usual three minutes.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006


as you can see things are worse than you first feared.

much worse.

this blog has officially been transmitted into outer space.
along with other equally worthwhile material such as old three stooges re-runs and transmissions of state of the union speeches by g.w. bush and friends.

(that's not as wide a range of material as i first thought it would be.)

my initial reaction to this realization came in the form of fear and trepidation.
what if they came looking for me?

then it occurred to me that i have, indeed, been living with and among aliens for pretty much all of my life (you know who you are).

i've already taught quite a few of them to be scuba instructors.

they already know who and where i am.

i guess i should ready a backpack and a good towel.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

helping hands

everybody goes through hard times. it's how you grow. the beauty of this process is learning that people you don't even know care enough about you to help out.

Devon reminded me of this today. (thanks, Devon.)

there's a guy in the blogosphere that could use a little help right now.

he's not asking for a handout. he's offering stories for sale (cheap!) by contemporary authors in order to raise a little money to get his car back.

these are stories and poems (including some written by himself) donated by the authors in order to help him out.

click on the link in this post and check it out.

Monday, August 07, 2006

daylight saving time

according to the paper (la prensa) honduras is now officially on "old time".

no more hanging out in the blazing sun until 7:30pm.

no more having to wait until almost 8 for that sunset beer. what a thing.

now we can all go about our business being late by the same clock.

it's just not the same having a five o'clock beer and not doing the sand fly dance.

old time.

all is right with the world.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

bad things

the ubiquitous dr. fly

at this time of year the dr. fly is, indeed, everywhere in utila.

she's called a dr. fly because , when one bites, you feel like you need a doctor.

(the males don't bite, they are generally sitting around the bar discussing the finer points of the mating rituals of the praying mantis which, once you figure this out, tells you why they're praying in the first place.)

dr. flies believe that, unless they are eaten by ants when they die, their souls will be trapped in "the swamp" for eternity.

dr. flies are more than just a nasty bite that makes you have to use all of your meat tenderizer for first aid. they are a reminder that we're in the season of "no wind". which means that we are also in the season of the sand fly more commonly known as the "no see um".

this makes one "very cranky".

which is why i felt absolutely no remorse at all in killing one of the little bastards this morning and throwing her in the sea for fish bait.

Saturday, August 05, 2006

sun jam

today is sun jam on utila.

actually it's on a small cay just off the west end of utila. billed as the biggest 24 hour, private, rave in the caribbean.

people here have been practicing for it for three days, now. in fact, they're still practicing as i type.

if this goes as it has in years past the participants will be well on the way to wasted by the time the boats start taking them there.

by the time they get back they will be looking like refugees.

i predict a weekend of dehydration, laceration, and desperation.

party on, dudes!